What Should You Be Sleeping On?

While hanging in there during the dry spells, when wins seemed few and far between (lol, I sound like Shakespeare) I entered a giveaway competition on Instagram by Love Kinks. And yes I won the lovely sets, a satin doek/scarf and satin pillowcases.

Love Kinks is a black owned brand by Sinovuyo Mondliwa. I have learnt so much about my hair from following her on Instagram and binge watching her YouTube channel. So far, I am obsessed with my satin set!

The ultimate “I woke up like this”. It feels good to wake up with your satin doek still on your head and your hair still moisturized. ❤

Since we are here talking about satin, I think we should get deep in it.

What should you be sleeping on?

Curly, coily, and wavy girls always have to be on the hunt for the hacks that help maintain their natural texture. I will not got so far as to say it is a full-time job, but if you want beautiful hair you have to work at it. A nighttime routine is vital to ensuring you maintain frizz-free and tangle-free tresses while preventing the moisture from whisking away during your slumber.

I haven’t been keeping satin or silk scarves in my hair arsenal all my life, till Love Kinks came through. It is a well-known fact, black women tie up their hair at night whether relaxed or natural. Scarves keep hairstyles intact, smooth, and ready for morning style.

Satin and silk scarves, bonnets, and pillowcases are in demand, as the rule of thumb is they will keep tresses fizz free and full of volume while you sleep. Now, whether the increase in their usage parallels with the natural hair movement is anyone’s guess but the desire to steer clear of regular cotton for one’s slumber is definite. The bottom line is satin or silk is the only way to go for nighttime care.

You might be meticulous about your hair during the daytime hours, but do little to take care of your hair whole asleep. As you toss and turn overnight, your hair cuticles get roughened up by rubbing on pillowcases and you get that just-woke-up look in the morning.

A tight ponytail at nighttime can also tear at your hair. Make nighttime a restorative part of your hair-care routine so your morning ‘do is not a don’t.

Invest in a silk or satin scarf, which are less abrasive to your hair than traditional cotton scarves. When you toss and turn, satin allows your hair to slide across the pillow for less frayi ng and frizz. Or wrap your hair firmly on place while your sleep, no matter how much you move around.

Why sleep with a satin scarf?

Preventing Tangles

Avoiding tangles is one of the main benefits of putting your hair in a satin scarf at night. As you sleep, your head tosses and shifts throughout the night, and hair also gets matted on the blanket. This can lead to some serious tangles and mats in your hair, which in turn can cause breakage when you attempt to comb them out in the morning.

Breakage At Night

While tangles can cause breakage in the morning, sleeping with your hair unwrapped can also cause breakage. A common cause is the of your pillowcase, commonly cotton fabrics, which hair can get caught on and subsequently break as you move around at night. Your hair may also get wrapped or entangled in your pajamas, if it is past your shoulders or in your arms and hands as you sleep. Keeping it wrapped up can prevent nighttime breakage considerably.

ADULTING

The tragic thing about life is that once you are in your 20s you then you have to be an adult for the rest of your life. This is depressing because being an adult means having to constantly show up for yourself.

Being an adult often means that if you want a qualification you have to make the sacrifices by studying even though Instagram pictures are better to look at. Even though sending funny memes cheers you up more than writing that thousand word essay on a topic you have no interest in.

Being an adult is depressing because it means that you are now in a horrid position where you have to not only buy your own food, but you have to cook it, make it tasty and clean up afterwards.

It means that you have to choose your own friends without having the luxury of having a parent who weeds out the bad friends. You suddenly are surrounded by other adults of your own choosing and when they fuck you over you have no one to blame but yourself.

Being an adult means making your own romantic choices and when these go left you have to be the one who rescues you from the frog who refuses to be a princess.

In other times you realise that you are the toad in someone’s love story. And being adult will mean you have to let people walk away and not act injured.

Food, clothes and shelter, you have to get these for yourself, forever, cause you are an adult.

The Short Road To Long Natural Hair

Spray bottle

Fill with water to moisturize hair as needed. You can also add your moisturizer, essential oils to your water and use it as your daily spritz.

Sulfate free shampoo

These do not strip hair off natural oils.

Moisturising conditioner /Deep conditioner

For weekly conditioner washing and after shampooing.

Leave-in conditioner

For daily moisturising.

Wide tooth comb

It does not rip at delicate hair strands.

Hair shears

To cut knots, splits hair and split ends this can be done every three months or when needed.

Finger detangling

To gently smooth out knots and tangles.

Protective hairstyle

To keep hair ends tucked in and moist.

Satin doek or pillow case

To prevent breakage and snagging of hair strands while sleeping.

Snag-free hair elastic

Made of material that do not snag and break the hair.

MANIFESTING

Manifesting is kinda hard at first but it is like a muscle, the more use it the easier it becomes. Not saying things will happen overnight but you have to be patient.⁠

• Truly believe in what you want⁠.
• Create a plan⁠.
• Take action on that plan⁠.
• Focus on the positive in your life⁠.
• Be grateful for what you already have⁠.
• Visualize it.
• Allow the Universe to work it out.

A List Of My Favorite South African Musicians

The South African Music industry is one of the most developed in Africa and the entire world. Many talented artists make a significant contribution to the music scene. You will find musicians of all ages, colours, and gender. All genres of music, such as reggae, hip-hop, jazz, African soul, and others, are represented. There is a long list of famous South African musicians that ensure South African music appears on the world map.

Some famous South African musicians have passed on or have retired from music, but their songs still inspire many people across the continent. Some are new to the industry but have managed to achieve global status from their music hits and high selling albums.

I grew up in a Christian home, so Gospel music was the order for the days of my life, as an adult I still enjoy Gospel music a lot, but now I am open to learning and experiencing different genres. I still recall when I was much younger my dad received a goodie bag from Vodacom, Vodacom is African communications company providing a wide range of communication services, including mobile voice, messaging, data, financial and converged services.

Inside the goodie bag there was a key holder, and a compact disc (CD) by Mandoza his real name is Mduduzi Edmund Tshabalala, (17 January 1978 – 18 September 2016) a South African Kwaito recording artist. He was known for his contributions to the Kwaito genre and his numerous hits singles, including “Nkalakatha”.

I guess that’s how I was introduced to the Kwaito music and I actually liked it, indeed change is good. We would jam to “Nkalakhatha” and “Uzoyithola kanjani” these were the best hits by Mandoza back in the 2000s. His music is full of reminiscence of my childhood. Chances are, what we liked when we were 10 will be different to what we like when we’re in our 20s.

So I would like to share a list of my favorite famous South African musicians with you:

1. Bongeziwe Mabandla

Bongeziwe Mabandla sings a distinctive Afro-folk in his native Xhosa language. Just 30, he’s fast becoming one of the strong voices shaping the South African scene. A finalist in RFI’s Discoveries Awards in 2011.

Mabandla’s early musical influences had come from his childhood in the rural town of Tsolo in the Eastern Cape where he grew up singing in church, at school and at home. A move to Johannesburg to study drama at AFDA saw him continue exploring expressions of musical storytelling through a range of artists including Tracy Chapman, The Fugees, Jabu Khanyile, Bongo Maffin and Busi Mhlongo. On its release in 2017, Mangaliso, (meaning “marvel” or “miracle”) signalled Mabandla’s extraordinary musical reach.

2. Thandiswa Mazwai

She is a 43-year-old South African vocalist, songwriter, and musician who has been active since 1998. She was also a member of Jack-Knife alongside Themba Smuts and Kimon Webster. The three released sons like “Fester” and “Chommie” which became the top club hits in Johannesburg, later referred to as “the pioneers of Kwaito movement”

In 1998, Thandiswa joined Bongo Muffin after not qualifying for the semi-finals at the Shelland Road to fame Talent show. After releasing five albums with Bongo Muffins, Thandiswa decided to invest in her solo career.

3. Simphiwe Dana

Simphiwe (39-year-old) is also one of the famous South African female singers specializing in music writing and Xhosa songs. Simphiwe Dana has also been referred to as the new Miriam Makeba due to her exceptional skills in combining Rap, jazz, traditional music, and Afro-soul. She released her first album, “Zandisile” in 2004 which gained her recognition and awards such as; AVO Session Basel awards and 2005 SAMA awards.

4. Zoe Modiga

Her real name is Palesa Pumelele Modiga. She was born in Overport, which is in Durban and then grew up in Pietermaritzburg. She attended the National School of Arts located in Johannesburg to study classical piano, vocals, and clarinet. She also has a degree in jazz vocals from the South African College of Music, UCT. She is one of the best Jazz musicians in South Africa. She has also won several awards including the 2015 SAMRO Overseas Scholarship Competition in the jazz category.

The Era Of Situationships

This is the era of flings, friends with benefits, situationships, vibing, hanging and all the other terms that speak of an unwillingness or an inability to commit to any one person. In this era it is so hard to meet, like, get-to-know and maintain a relationship because people figure out they have so many options.

In this era we have more access to potential love interests than at any time in human history. All these people are accessible at a click of a button. I am not even talking about dating Apps I am talking about social networks.

We do not even bother to ask people about where they went to school or what their interests are because we just scroll far enough on their social media and find out things about them, if you have a PhD in stalking, you might even know who their cousin’s cousin is.

People do not date anymore. There is no going over, no picking a movie, no first date nerves because by the time we meet we know exactly what we think we are getting.

It is all too fast. It’s kind of sad for someone who appreciate some effort, being persuaded and actually reciprocate that, now it is like we are all speed dating. We tend to have most of our sexual encounters on the first date. Nothing wrong with that, but people tend to be more private about their phones than they are about their private parts.

We are taught to put in work in our education and careers but there seems to be the idea that if a relationship shows any kind of hiccup then we move swiftly on.

I am not sure the “on to the next one” philosophy to love leads us to connected, full filling relationships.

It is okay to have flings. To vibe. But to do this as a method to look for love seems self-negating to me.

Sunshine Blogger Award

Sanibonani 👋🏻(that’s “Hi everyone” in IsiZulu) I’ve been nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award, I am so grateful and honored. Thank you Nina Yomo for the nomination, please check out her inspiring blog here for self awareness, body positivity posts and everything in between, oh, and even celebrity crushes.

Rules:

• Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to their blog.
• Answer the 11 questions given to you.
• Nominate any other bloggers and write them 11 new questions (if you want!)
• List the rules and display the sunshine blogger award logo in your blog post.

Describe your blogging journey in three words.

Discovery, interaction and love

Who are you outside your blog?

A very shy pastor’s kid, sounds much like a paragon but no I’m not. Art lover who binge watches natural hair Youtube videos.

Which of your posts is your favorite? Why?

They all my favorite to be honest. But I choose this post of kids cooking school in Soweto because I had an opportunity to interact with young kids who can cook! And they understand the importance of eating healthily (and I got free food, of course, lol)

Do you have a daily mantra? If so, what is it?

It’s actually a bible verse, my favorite!

Faith is being sure of what we hope for Hebrews 11:1.

What is your favourite blog post and why?

My post dear fat girl in the gym I realised how hard it can be to sign that gym membership as a big girl and actually going for your sessions, I needed to remind myself and any big girl out there to keep running. Just keep running. Even that gym member who’s been there for sometime is taking a video of you while you dare the treadmill. Yes, that skinny girl who only comes here to take selfies is snickering. Yes, your personal trainer is making faces. Yes, your sweat is sketching out all your folds on your t-shirt and on your pants. Yes, you are heaving and the whole continent can hear your lungs dragging your breath. Yes, you can only run for 30 seconds at a time but just keep running.

What are the three things you are grateful for today?

Life, family and water

Which habit are you proud of breaking?

Lack of time management. Everyone who knows me will sure testify on this one, I use to be late for everything. But I realised that this was some sort of an addiction, I was addicted to the rush. But I’m glad I broke that bad habit.

What activity makes you lose track of time?

Binge watching YouTube, Instagram and a good book.

what fictional character do you relate the most to?

Princess Merida from the 2012 Disney Pixar film BRAVE

Netflix and chill or night out partying?

I’m an introvert, so Netflix and indoors chill.

What’s the last movie you watched?

When they see us

What food do you crave most often?

Pizza, avocado and chicken salad

I am not changing Nina’s questions because they cool. I want to keep them as they are for my nominees.

NOMINEES:

• Thabitha from madeeasybythabitha

• Mrs. Tangie from tangietwoods

• Wendy from everythingnappy

• Andislocks from andislocks

• Divine Conciousness from Oshynic Waves

If you are not up for this, it’s totally fine, if interested you are more than welcome to join. But please do check out the amazing blogs of the above nominees and show some love. ❤

How to Maintain Healthy Hair

To condition or not to condition, to oil or not to oil, when it comes to your hair you’ll find all kinds of advice. Mothers’ will tell you to “oil your hair” while your hair dresser will recommend the new IT thing “hair spa, Moroccan oil, strengthening not rebonding and all.” Before you pick your choice of treatment, here are a few things you must know.

The first step in hair care regimen is your diet and the two most important things in your diet are iron and protein. The hair cells are the fastest growing cells in the body but they are also the first ones to be affected you don’t eat right or suffer with deficiencies because they are not required for survival.
Try and include iron-rich foods like leafy vegetables, fish, pumpkin seeds, beans, chickpea, soybeans and cereals in your diet.
You also need protein because that’s what strengthens your hair.Include complete proteins which are also rich in amino acids: like cheese, milk, soy, lentils, peas, quinoa and yogurt. Okay, I’m done being a doctor now.
It’s normal to lose 100 to 150 strands of hair a day so don’t panic when you see a small bunch crawling across your tiled floor.
Comb wet hair with extreme care because they’re fragile and prone to breakage.

Take a broad toothed comb and run it from the roots to the ends of your hair as gently as possible.
Trim your hair every three months or when necessary get rid of those brown and rough split ends. To avoid the split ends to grow out again.
Don’t wash your hair everyday and whenever you do, try and use the same brand of shampoo and conditioner.

I use this shampoo by http://www.nativechild.co Make sure your shampoo is sulfate and paraben free (not sponsored, I am just sharing what works for me)

1. Rinse off with warm water as it is good for both strength and shine.
Unlike the labels on the back of our food items, the labels on the back of our shampoos are mostly left unread.In the last few years, there has been a lot of focus on sulfate in shampoos.

What are sulfates? They’re the reason your shampoo lathers the way it does.They clean your scalp and hair, departing the dirt from it.

But some researchers also suggest that they strip your hair of essential oils. They’re also why your eye stings when shampoo runs down the side of your face. If you feel any kind of irritation on the scalp or find your hair drying up over time then try and buy a shampoo that’s sulfate-free.

2. After shampooing I then use a Hair Mayonnaise, but I only use it every each month, then use a deep conditioner every week after a wash, I honestly do not have any other explanation why deep conditioning is important other than “a deep conditioner is what a fabric conditioner is to your washed clothes, okay?!”

3. Apply the deep conditioner, then use a shower cap because it works well in heat. I use a Shoprite plastic shopping bag then wear my doek for 2-5 minutes. So basically I’ll be looking like Badu while at it, lol (Since I’ve been using a deep conditioner my curls are popping, I have never had defined curls before)

4. After rinsing the deep conditioner off with just water, I use my old cotton t-shirt to dry my hair, we’re in for my favorite part L.O.C if you’ve read my other posts on L.O.C you’ll know what is about and why it’s my favorite.

5. Then L.O.C – Liquid, Oil, and Cream because your hair will still slightly wet then that will be your liquid, but when your hair is dry then you’ll need to spray water on it.

–Oils, avocado oil, olive oil, black jamaican castor oil, tea tree oil they plenty, and fortunate enough they can be found in your kitchen cardboard, the lockdown is not an excuse.

Apply from tips to root. I prefer a more thicker oil in winter like this Castor oil from Nativechild.

6. Finally, for sealing all the moisture I finish off with a cream.

Cantu is my favorite because of its ingredients, it got water as its first ingredient which is very good for your hair and shea butter, of course.

I alternatively use this one from MyNatural, it’s in the bucket of favorites.

How my hair looked like before deep conditioning and the L.O.C method, quite dry.

This is how it looks after deep conditioning and L.O.C, my hair feels and look moistured and my curls popping guys.

Until next time, may your ‘fro glow and grow, of course. (Does that rhyme?) 😎👊

#MenAreTrash Should Not Be An Insult To Men

Just because it’s not shown on TV, reported to the police or evidently seen by the neighbors it does not mean it stopped happening. Femicide in south africa has broken my heart over and over. As the nation fights the invisible Covid-19 peril, a highly visible epidemic of gender-based violence continues to affect women and children each day.

The past two weeks have been the worst days; everyday news were about a women who have been killed and their bodies dumped in the veld or hanged, the recent and current incidents reminded me of the last two years were we have seen an increase in social justice activism against Gender based violence smoving from the streets to social media platforms.

In 2018, the hashtag #MenAreTrash emerged as social justice activists spoke out against the ignorance and lack of awareness of endemic GBV in South African society.

The hashtag exploded on South African Twitter bringing a social issue which was often raised by activists and street protests to everyone’s lips – or fingertips in this case. The hashtag #MenAreTrash resurfaced once more in 2019 following the brutal rape and murder of University Of Cape Town (UCT) student Uyinenne Mrwetyana, along with other hashtags like #AmINext.

The hashtag #MenAreTrash was initially offensive to plenty of men.

Some tried to ignore it but it seemed like the more they did the more offensive it felt. This makes me believe that the hashtag is perfect because it does force a man to start a conversation. But the shortcoming of the hashtag is that not all women seem to understand what is about. On various occasions, I have come across women who think that this is limited to personal intimate experiences with men.

What has been common whenever #MenAreTrash was brought up regarding GBV was the knee-jerk response #NotAllMen. The #NotAllMen hashtag is reactionary, it aims to mute the conversations that the #MenAreTrash hashtag starts. If it were up to me I would crush it completely.

The latter hashtag represented those (often men) who objected to the branding of “all men” which they perceived as being grossly unfair. The #NotAllMen camp positioned themselves against #MenAreTrash by taking offense at being labelled as “trash”, while others pointed to equally horrendous actions carried out by women in an attempt to show that there’s enough blame to go around. Many women also took up the #NotAllMen tag by telling stories of men who have supported and carried them through their lives, and of how the men in their lives valued and cared for them.

The #MenAreTrash is an outcry, it should not be offensive to anyone but provoke introspection, start conversations between men so to come up with a backet of practical and sustainable solutions.

The conversations spawning from these hashtags can shine invaluable light on why GBV is made harder by societal patriarchal biases that are often in place. Having brought millions of people online to discussing these contentious issues, these hashtags offer us an opportunity to start a conversation on GBV. The ultimate purpose of activism is to bring about public awareness which can then turn into actions discussions and finally result in a positive change. So rather than seeing this as a new frontier of war, it should be seen as a great opportunity to educate and facilitate dialogue between millions of people in matters of women’s empowerment, GBV and gender-based abuse against both men and women.

Celebrating Youth Day under The “New Normal” Lockdown

As we pause to celebrate the spirit of the young of South Africa on Youth Day this June 16 we must remember many of them are suffering in the scary, uncertain, world of COVID-19 with the same underlying iniquities that drove them to rebellion in 1976.

June 16 is a very special day on the South African calendar. For the past years the 16th of June meant a mass gathering of people from all the corners of the world, events, taking of pictures and people chanting “Senzeni Na?” (also spelled Senzenina, English: (What have we done?) Which is a SouthAfrican anti- apartheid folksong.

Under the “new normal” Hector Pieterson Museum looks like a deserted place.

This year, millions of people will be observing the day while indoors. This is because South Africa is currently under lockdown and mass gatherings are prohibited.

Why do we celebrate Youth Day on June 16?

Youth Day commemorates the June 16 youth uprisings that began in Soweto back in 1976. Thousands of South African youths took a stand against the Bantu Education Act that made it compulsory for black learners to learn certain subjects with Afrikaans as the medium of instruction. June 16 was the day that set the wheels of change in motion.

What was happening on June 16?

Thousands of learners had planned to protest on June 16, 1976, peacefully, and got ambushed by apartheid police. Police opened fire, and it’s estimated that 176 students lost their lives, with over 4000 injured. The uprising resulted in international pressure and sanctions against the apartheid government.

Why is June 16 important to South Africans?

On June 16, we celebrate the sacrifice and contribution that the youth of this country had in fighting systematic oppression. The day seeks to recognize that the youth who lost their lives and had a tremendous impact on the liberation movement.

The big question, lol. How can we celebrate Youth Day 2020?

Youth Day 2020 in South Africa will be different than previous years because gatherings are not allowed, and social distancing is still the order of the day. But there are a few things you can do to commemorate the day.

How do we honour Youth Day in lockdown?

There are small things that we can do as individuals to commemorate the sacrifice that the students had to make at that time:

Learn more about the history of our country

It’s essential to know what our country went through to get to where we are today. We still have a long way to go, but we have one of the most progressive constitutions in the world, and it’s through the sacrifice of those who protested during those times. Watch a documentary or read up on the liberation struggle.

Research the current movements that are happening in our country and support

Lending a helping hand can be as easy as a retweet or signing a petition. The struggle for equality is far from over, and there are various issues that you can lend your voice to.

Take care of yourself

June 16 is a public holiday, so take the day to relax. Living in unprecedented times is not easy. Life as we know it has completely changed and it can be taxing to your mental health. Take the day to practice some self-care; meditate, read a book or do any activity that brings you joy.